My decision to have the DS

I decided to have weight loss surgery in the middle of October 2008.  I've tried to lose weight every other way a person can and failed over and over.  My body wars with me.  


Living in this culture of plenty, my body demands to be fat.  My mind cannot overcome it, I've tried.  It's like going without water when you're thirsty and surrounded by drink.  There's no comparison with quitting smoking.  I did that 22 years ago with no sweat in comparison with dieting.     


Both my parents are obese, both have diabetes and hypertension and so do I, in addition to the other maladies my parents suffer, arthritis and sleep apnea.  I had my daughter at 37 years.  If I want to see and enjoy my grandchildren, I need to do something now.    


 That something is weight loss surgery.  It is the only thing that works.  Even if I accomplished the monumental feat of losing weight, I doubt if I could battle with my body for the rest of my life to keep it off.  It would be miserable.  There's a reason there is only a 2% long term success rate losing any significant amount of weight.     


It will not be my first time to dance with the knife.  I'd had a stomach staple in the early 80s that completely failed.  Then I had a vertical banded gastroplasty.    This was the only time in my life I was a normal weight outside of my teenage years.  


Being a normal weight is the only reason I was able to marry and have a child.  Six years after my bypass, I went to the doctor to see about the constant vomiting and heartburn.  He put down a scope and dilated my stoma.  After that I could eat anything and I rapidly regained the weight.   


It's 14 years later and I'm again morbidly obese with co-morbidities, diabetes, hypertension, arthritis and now sleep apnea with a CPAP.  I have disability and a Medicare Advantage program.  Medicare will pay for most weight loss surgeries.   


So here I go again.